I asked seven-year-old Sara what she learned in school today. "We learned about how to be healthy. First, you have to stay away from alcohol, smoking, and drugs. Then, you have to eat good food, brush your teeth" (I stopped her right there, because she had just brushed her teeth and was now chewing gum). I asked, "Is it good to chew gum, Sara, after brushing your teeth?"
"Oh, yes, my teacher said it was, if you don't chew gum more than once a day."
"Dad, do you know what is the dirtiest part of the body? Your hair!"
At that point, ten-year-old Jon chimed in, "I know a part of the body that is dirtier!"
At that point, Jon's Dad, I, stopped any further speech coming from Jon's mouth, in absolute violation of Jon's first amendment rights.
Sara continued, "Wash your hands with sanitizer or soap and water. Then eat some more good food. Candy tastes good, but it is not good for you. What if I ate all the candy in Candyland? I would be fat. I would not be strong. Today the boys were chasing me, but they could not catch me. Then Nathan did catch me. He said I look like chocolate, and he tried to eat me. I do look like chocolate, but I don't want boys eating me."
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