Starbuck's - A Love Story

OK, so let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a short, pudgy little guy named Cliff who loved coffee. He was one of the many people who liked the coffee at Starbuck's and was a fan of the four-shot-with-four-ounces-of-water-in-a-short-cup-Americano. (That'll be two dollars and seventy-six cents, sir. Thank you! I can help who's next...) One day he found out that the gift card he reused and reloaded frequently could net him a very useful prize, two hours of wi-fi a day, for FREE!

So, he went to the Starbuck's website and registered his already at least two year old card and found out some really devastating, but awesome, news. He could have been using his old card to get points! Points I tell ya! Points towards what, you may ask? Free drinks! Well, Cliff felt a sense of excitement over the possibility of free drinks, and simultaneously a sense of loss and grief over the two years of points he missed out on. (Let's see, that's, fifteen points for a free drink, and two years of going to Starbuck's at the usual addictive frequency. Holy Smokes! That's like, two hundred and forty-seven free drinks! Dang it!) In about three weeks or so, Cliff got a personally addressed letter from Starbuck's saying that he was so special that he deserved a special gold card. GOLD! And with this special gold card he would get free wi-fi. FREE WI-FI! WOW! For a couple of months Cliff would take out his special gold card and pay for his drinks and get his free wi-fi with the absolute surety that he alone, and not all of those other schmucks, was that only one in the room getting free wi-fi, and points. These were special moments for Cliff and his relationship with Starbuck's. There seemed to be a real bond, even mutual appreciation; deep mutual appreciation.

Then one day Cliff checked the tech blogs and found out that he was being jilted. Starbuck's, which had been giving special free wi-fi attention to him, was planning to just give it away, for FREE! To EVERYONE! That floosie! That tramp! That hussie! Well, if it weren't for the dark, smoky French Roast coffee, and wonderful espresso, and sweet, tasty treats, and the jazzy, cool music and the comfy chairs and the convenient place to meet friends and get computer work done, Cliff would have left Starbuck's for good. But hey, he still gets his free wi-fi, and don't forget points. Did he mention that he has a gold card. Yes, as a matter of fact he did.