Tonight our Dear Leader will deliver his yearly blessed homily and believe you me there will be plenty of smug to go around the world. Apparently in a spirit of mutual love and deep appreciation of one another in an ether of warmth and moonbeams, Barack H. Obama will deliver a missive from the mount of All-knowingness, called, in the common speech, the State of the Union address. Mr. Obama, ever the uniter and not a divider, will not politicize or take advantage of this opportunity to interrupt our favorite television programming to paint his political friends on the other side(read: enemies) with a little bit of off-color rhetoric(read:demonize). And, of course, "Birds will sing, the skies will part," and the planet will heal and we'll all walk hand in hand in the Promised Land, which we all know is really Chicago, Illinois. And in response members of Congress will be sitting together in bipartisan arrangement, as they pass out the Kool Aid and marmalade.
Well, here's what's really going to happen. Teen Mom and and Dancing with Hollywood Idiots will get greater ratings than this speech will. America will yawn in boredom after the first ovation, and click over to Sportscenter or watch Despicable Me on video with the kids.
No lollipops, no rainbows, no puppy dogs, and no unicorns will be able to save this man's lost leadership and fumbled fame. He is now like Saruman in the Lord of the Rings, his staff is broken and he is powerless, but his speech may yet be dangerous. Be wary. He may put a spell on us.
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