Not giving in to self-pity

I wish I would have mastered the art of anger control earlier in my life. If I would have, I am convinced that my life today would be a million times better in all phases. In recent years I have learned that the biggest trap of all is self-pity. Once you give in to self-pity, you feel justified to unleash anger. Realizing this is a self-defeating activity, I pray daily for the Holy Spirit's power to overcome the temptation to give in to self-pity. I especially pray when the temptation is right on me. As Steve Martin said in his book The Pleasure of My Company, "There are many takers for the quiet heart."

One of the best gifts a parent can give his or her children is the gift of learning the importance of avoiding the temptation to give in to self-pity. This morning seven-year-old Sara was rude to ten-year-old Jon for several minutes. Finally, Jon had had enough, and came charging after Sara. Nine-year-old Greg grabbed Jon from behind, and held him back, telling Jon that if he did something to Sara, it would only make matters worse. I was so proud of Greg, and told him so clearly and emphatically.

I certainly don't claim to have mastered the ability to avoid self-pity. Anger is easier to control than self-pity, because self-pity is a thought, and anger is an action. Thoughts precede actions. It is the thoughts that we need to give priority to. If we can train ourselves to avoid the thoughts associated with self-pity, we can avoid the actions that produce results that are less than beneficial to ourselves and others.

How do we get motivated to learn to control thoughts of self-pity? There has to be some motivating factor. Impending loss of someone(s) near and dear can be a strong motivator. Job loss? Loss seems to loom large as a motivator. What has been your experience with this subject?