Are you intrigued by psychology? Are you thinking of majoring in psychology in college? What will you do with a degreee in psychology? Remember when the CEOs of the major tobacco companies testified before Congress that they had no clue that nicotine is addictive? Well, if you have few morals and a knowledge of psychology, you could really help them sell their products! Let me give you some examples. You know how guys fear being called fags? Yes, it seems to be the number one fear of young teenage guys. Well, you could capitalize on that fear by emphasizing how manly it would be for a guy to smoke or chew tobacco.
Take chewing tobacco, for example. Evoke manly images by naming your tobacco Kodiak, Grizzly, Longhorn, or Timber Wolf. Even though the pesky government tries to ruin your fun by requiring you to admit that your product may cause cancer, you can rest assured that just by putting a picture of a growling Wolf, Grizzly, or Husky on your can, guys will go for it.
That same pesky government may say that you can no longer label your cigarettes "Light," "Ultra Light," or "Smooth." You can stay one step ahead of the feds by calling your cigarettes "Gold" or "Silver," commodities that hold or increase their value (so the user can see herself as increasing in value).
Speaking of females, you could design "Slim" cigarrettes, because you know females are always conscious of being overweight and they think they need to slim down. Your art work on the packages could use pretty pastels, curving upward toward Heaven in the shape of a flame. On the side of your package, you could say "Please don't litter," because you know how easy it is to make females feel guilty.
Back to the guys. Don't forget the Marlboro Man, the last cowboy, riding in on his stallion. Put two stallions on your package! Have them standing tall on their hind legs, facing off against each other. On your pipe tobacco you could put a drawing of an old schooner, evoking memories of the adventurous first settlers of America from Europe. You know how men always like to be right? Well, you could use this for your logo: "Always the Right Choice!" Put mountains on your package, so the guys could pretend they are man enough to climb the highest mountains!
Oh, wait, the industry has already done all these things.
Bob, excellent investigative blogging while running the #16 register! I'd laugh along with you if it weren't for the dark fact that these people ARE killing themselves slowly while paying a 90% tax rate on their habit of choice.
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