We seek achievement through our children or others
And if all of these previous things seem to have passed us by, we can put the responsibility of our significance onto someone else in our lives, whether a spouse or a son or daughter, small group of people or those we work with or that work for us. I always get the picture of the parent yelling at the kid when they are not playing well at the little league game or soccer tournament. "Eyes on the ball, Danny, dog gone it! That kid, I swear." This is followed by silence in the car on the way home and an hour of throwing strikes or free throws before dinner. This is a destructive pattern that is all too common in our competitive society where there is no place for losers. First place or no place. Nobody ever remembers the second place runner up, they say. The worst place I have ever seen this kind of behavior was not at the ball field or concert hall, or a business, but in church. Kids told that they are the next "Apostle So-and-So with a call to reach the Nations" without being given the tools and training and nurture necessary to really fill those kind of shoes. It's hard enough to be a teenager or young person these days, much less to be responsible for the whole world. Even if they are the next great generation, they need to see it before they can be it. Parents and elders are responsible to model greatness, and not just push it upon young people without a commitment to help them when it gets hard. Placing the responsibility for our personal significance and worth on others is a destructive habit if not done right. However, when a true vision is presented and made available, and healthy mentoring and modeling are present, then this is not abuse, it is passing on a multi-generational legacy, which is something so rare in these days of extreme fatherlessness as to be almost apocryphal.
From: JavaJazzJesus
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